Themself vs. theirself is a common point of confusion because both forms may seem logical. If you already use they, them, and their, you might expect theirself to be the natural reflexive form. However, contemporary standard US English generally favors themself when referring to one person with singular they.
The distinction matters when you want your sentence to sound natural and follow accepted usage. For example, you might write about a coworker who prefers they pronouns, a student whose gender is unknown, or a person whose identity you do not want to assume.
In these situations, themself can refer back to one person. Theirself is not the usual choice in mainstream edited American English.
The key is to understand how the reflexive form works and to choose a pronoun that fits your intended meaning and writing context.
Quick Answer
Use themself when you need a singular reflexive pronoun with singular they. Avoid theirself in standard US writing.
For example:
- Preferred: Jordan introduced themself to the new team.
- Nonstandard in mainstream edited English: Jordan introduced theirself to the new team.
The word themself refers back to the same person named as the subject. It works when they refers to one individual, including a person who uses they/them pronouns.
Do not confuse this contrast with themself versus themselves. Both themself and themselves can be used with singular they, depending on the context and the writer’s preferred convention. The choice between those two forms is a separate question.
What Is Correct?
Themself is the preferred form in this comparison for contemporary standard US English. It is recognized as a singular reflexive form of they.
Theirself is sometimes encountered, but it is not the standard choice in mainstream edited American writing. Its construction may seem reasonable because their is the possessive form associated with they. However, accepted reflexive forms do not always follow a simple pattern based on possessive pronouns.
Consider these examples:
- Alex reminded themself to submit the application.
- Taylor prepared themself for the interview.
- The guest asked themself whether they had brought their keys.
In each example, themself refers back to one person.
Compare those sentences with:
- Alex reminded theirself to submit the application.
- Taylor prepared theirself for the interview.
These examples use a nonstandard form in place of the accepted singular reflexive pronoun.
For clear, polished writing, choose themself when you specifically want the singular reflexive form. If your preferred publication style calls for themselves with singular they, follow that convention consistently.
The Core Grammar Rule
A reflexive pronoun refers back to the person or people identified by the subject or another appropriate antecedent. Common examples include myself, yourself, himself, herself, ourselves, and themselves.
When they refers to one person, themself can perform that same reflexive function.
For example:
- Casey taught themself to play the guitar.
- Morgan reminded themself to call the dentist.
- The new employee introduced themself to everyone.
In these sentences, the subject refers to one person, and the reflexive pronoun points back to that same person.
The verb does not become singular merely because they refers to one person. Singular they normally takes the same verb forms as plural they.
For example:
- Correct: Morgan says they are ready to leave.
- Incorrect: Morgan says they is ready to leave.
The same principle applies when a sentence includes themself. The reflexive form does not change the verb agreement.
A useful way to remember the rule is this: use themself, not theirself, when you want a singular reflexive form of they.
When Each Form Is Correct
The two forms do not have equal standing in standard contemporary US English.
| Form or Pattern | Best Use | Why |
|---|---|---|
| Themself | Singular they referring back to one person | Recognized singular reflexive form |
| Theirself | Generally avoid in standard US writing | Nonstandard in mainstream edited usage |
| Themselves | Plural they referring to multiple people | Standard plural reflexive form |
| Themselves with singular they | When accepted by the relevant style convention | A recognized alternative in some contexts |
When to use themself
Use themself when the sentence refers to one individual and the intended pronouns are they, them, and their.
Examples:
- Riley reminded themself to bring a jacket.
- The applicant described themself as organized and dependable.
- Sam gave themself time to consider the offer.
This form can be especially useful when writing about a specific person who uses they/them pronouns.
It can also be used with a person whose gender is unknown or irrelevant, depending on the sentence and the writer’s chosen convention.
When to avoid theirself
Avoid theirself in formal papers, professional correspondence, edited articles, and other writing where standard contemporary US usage is expected.
Instead of writing, “The customer should identify theirself,” write, “The customer should identify themself,” if you are using the singular form.
You can also rewrite the sentence to avoid a reflexive pronoun when that produces a more natural result.
When It Is Incorrect or Less Natural
In the requested contrast, theirself is the form to avoid in standard edited US English. It is not necessary to claim that nobody uses it or that readers will never encounter it.
Some speakers may use theirself in conversation or in regional or informal varieties of English. That does not make it the preferred form for general professional writing.
Here are common examples and their revisions:
- Less standard: The student prepared theirself for the presentation.
- Preferred: The student prepared themself for the presentation.
- Less standard: Each participant should ask theirself whether the answer is clear.
- Preferred: Each participant should ask themself whether the answer is clear.
- Less standard: The artist challenged theirself to try something new.
- Preferred: The artist challenged themself to try something new.
The preferred form works because it refers back to the singular subject without using a nonstandard reflexive construction.
There is one important qualification: themself is not the only form that may be accepted with singular they. Some writers and publications use themselves in that context. Therefore, do not treat every occurrence of themselves after a singular antecedent as automatically wrong.
The specific issue here is that theirself is not the mainstream standard choice.
Meaning, Structure, or Emphasis Differences
Themself and theirself generally attempt to express the same basic idea: a person performs an action that refers back to that person. The difference is primarily one of accepted grammatical usage, not a meaningful difference in what the sentence communicates.
For example:
- Preferred: Jamie taught themself how to cook.
- Nonstandard: Jamie taught theirself how to cook.
Both sentences attempt to say that Jamie learned to cook independently. The first uses the preferred reflexive form.
The choice also does not change the person’s identity, gender, or number. When they refers to one individual, themself can refer back to that same individual.
Compare:
- One person: The speaker introduced themself.
- Multiple people: The speakers introduced themselves.
The first example uses themself to refer to one speaker. The second uses themselves for multiple speakers.
In some contexts, a writer may choose themselves for the first sentence as well, especially when following a publication’s established guidance for singular they. That is a separate usage choice, not a reason to substitute theirself.
Real-World Examples
The following examples show how themself works in everyday American English.
At work
- Jordan reminded themself to send the meeting notes.
- The new manager introduced themself to the entire department.
- Before accepting the offer, Taylor asked themself whether the schedule would work.
At school
- The student challenged themself to finish the assignment early.
- Avery taught themself how to use the presentation software.
- Each applicant should ask themself whether the program meets their goals.
In everyday conversations
- Casey bought themself a coffee before the drive.
- My friend told me they needed time to themself.
- Riley gave themself a few minutes to calm down.
In general instructions
- Anyone who feels overwhelmed should give themself a short break.
- Each participant can introduce themself before the discussion begins.
- A reader can ask themself whether the example makes sense.
These examples show that themself can appear with a named person, a general reference to one individual, or a singular indefinite expression.
Notice that their can still appear elsewhere in the same sentence. For example, “Each applicant should ask themself whether the program meets their goals” uses themself reflexively and their possessively. The two words serve different grammatical functions.
Common Mistakes (and Quick Fixes)
Using theirself because their is possessive
The connection may look logical, but the accepted reflexive form in this context is themself.
- Incorrect for standard edited usage: The guest introduced theirself.
- Preferred: The guest introduced themself.
Assuming themself can refer only to a nonbinary person
The form can refer to a specific individual who uses they/them pronouns. It can also be used with singular they when a person’s gender is unknown or irrelevant.
- The caller identified themself.
- Each person should decide for themself.
Treating themself and themselves as identical in every context
Both forms can occur with singular they, but writers and publications may prefer one over the other. With an unmistakably plural subject, themselves is the standard choice.
- One participant: The participant introduced themself.
- Multiple participants: The participants introduced themselves.
Changing the verb to match a singular meaning
Singular they still uses verb forms such as are, have, and do.
- Incorrect: Morgan said they was ready.
- Correct: Morgan said they were ready.
Using a reflexive pronoun when it is unnecessary
Not every sentence needs themself. Sometimes a direct object or a shorter construction is clearer.
- Wordy: The employee contacted themself through the company portal.
- Clearer, if the intended meaning is self-contact: The employee contacted them through the company portal.
Be careful with revisions like this because removing a reflexive pronoun can change the intended meaning. Make sure the revised sentence still says what you mean.
Grammar Rule Details
Rule
Use themself as a singular reflexive form of they when the pronoun refers back to one person. In standard contemporary US writing, avoid theirself.
Correct Usage
- The customer introduced themself.
- Taylor reminded themself about the appointment.
- Anyone can prepare themself for the discussion.
Each example uses themself to refer back to a singular subject or antecedent.
Incorrect or Less Natural Usage
Theirself is nonstandard in mainstream edited American English. Although it may appear in informal or regional speech, themself is the safer choice for general writing.
Examples
- Preferred: Alex encouraged themself to keep going.
- Preferred: The applicant described themself clearly.
- Avoid in standard edited writing: Alex encouraged theirself to keep going.
Common Mistakes
Do not confuse the possessive pronoun their with the reflexive pronoun themself. Also, do not assume that themselves is always incorrect with singular they. The relevant style convention can determine whether themself or themselves is preferred in a particular publication.
Exceptions
There is no widely accepted standard-writing exception that makes theirself the preferred form. Informal, regional, or quoted language may preserve it when reproducing a speaker’s actual words or a particular variety of English.
Quick Test
Ask yourself two questions:
- Does the pronoun refer back to one person described with they?
- Am I writing in standard contemporary US English?
If both answers are yes, themself is a suitable choice. If the subject refers to multiple people, use themselves.
Usage Notes
Follow the pronouns a person uses and the style rules of the publication you are writing for. If the publication prefers themselves with singular they, use that form consistently. When no special style rule applies and you want a singular reflexive form, themself is a clear choice.
FAQs
Is themself grammatically correct?
Yes. Themself is recognized as a singular reflexive form of they. It is appropriate when the pronoun refers back to one person.
Is theirself ever acceptable?
It may occur in informal or regional speech, but it is not the standard choice in mainstream edited US English. Use themself in general professional writing.
Should I write themself or themselves?
Use themself when you want a clearly singular reflexive form. Themselves is standard for plural subjects and is also accepted by some style conventions with singular they. Follow your publication’s guidance.
Can I use themself when someone’s gender is unknown?
Yes. A writer can use singular they for a person whose gender is unknown or irrelevant and use themself as the reflexive form when appropriate.
Does themself change the verb in a sentence?
No. The verb agreement follows the pronoun they, which takes forms such as are, have, and do. For example, “Jordan said they are ready to leave.”
Why does theirself sound logical to some people?
It may seem logical because their is the possessive form associated with they. However, the accepted reflexive form in standard contemporary US writing is themself, not theirself.
Conclusion
When choosing between themself and theirself, use themself in standard contemporary US English. It is a recognized singular reflexive form of they and can refer back to one individual.
Theirself may appear in informal or regional language, but it is not the preferred form in mainstream edited writing. Remember that themselves is standard for plural subjects and may also be used with singular they under some style conventions.
For clear, natural writing, choose the form that fits the subject and follow your publication’s guidance consistently.
